There’s no doubt that writing a college application essay is challenging. It’s probably the most time consuming part of applying to a four-year college and can be intimidating for people. I’ve had the privilege of helping many students write their college application essays. Over the years, I’ve seen the same recurring mistakes that can hinder the effectiveness of these essays.
I’ve called these “mistakes”, honestly, to catch your attention. While they are mistakes in that they prevent your essay from showcasing the best version of you, I don’t want you to feel that you have done something wrong. Writing college application essays (also known as personal statements or personal essays) is not something a lot of people have experience in. There’s a lot of not-so-great information out there too. Plus, it’s hard to do well without guidance.
With that, here are the top 3 “mistakes” I see people make in their college application essays, and what to do instead.
- Writing too much about a situation and not enough about you
- Not answering the question
- Using flowery language
Mistake 1: Writing too much about a situation and not enough about you
The biggest and most common “mistake” I see is students dedicating too much space to describing a situation or event and not enough to talk about themselves. While providing context is important, remember that the primary goal of your essay is to showcase you—your experiences, values, and aspirations.
Many students fall into the habit of writing more about a situation than themselves. They assume that explaining the situation tells the reader about them. Often, they will leave the juicy stuff–what they learned, the skills they gained–until the very end and don’t expand on that!
While it’s important to explain a situation, make sure that at least a third of your essay focuses on your skills, thoughts, reflections or values. Focus on how the experience shaped and influenced you. Think of this as an opportunity to highlight your growth, resilience, or newfound perspectives. The reader is much more interested in understanding you than the details of a single event.
For example, if you’re writing about a challenging experience, like managing a team of coworkers or classmates, don’t just narrate the events. Share how this experience shaped your perspective, taught you leadership, and helped you strengthen your communication. The situation is the means through which you share who you are. Remember, this is your chance to shine!
What to do instead:
Strike a balance between providing context and showcasing your values and skills. If, for example, you are discussing the impact of a book on your life, don’t spend the entire essay summarizing the plot. Instead, focus on your reactions, insights, and the personal growth spurred by the book.
Think of your essay as a window into your world. Admissions committees are eager to understand what makes you tick, what drives you, and how you contribute to a diverse and vibrant college community. Share your passions, values, and unique perspectives to create a narrative that is authentic and compelling.
Mistake 2: Not answering the question
It may sound silly, but a LOT of students don’t actually answer the essay prompt or question! They’ll make mistake #1 and spend a lot of time talking about an event, which often leads to not answering the question. This doesn’t help you at all.
Admissions officers create these questions to get to know you. They want to gain insights into your personality, experiences, and values. If you don’t answer the question, you’re missing the opportunity to share who you are to the admissions officers. They won’t get the information they are looking for.
It’s really important to read the prompt carefully and make sure that your response aligns with what is being asked. Tangential stories, no matter how captivating, can take away from the essay’s purpose and leave the reader wondering who you are.
What to do instead:
If the prompt asks you to discuss a significant challenge you’ve overcome, don’t veer off into unrelated anecdotes or generalities. Instead, delve into the specifics of the challenge, your thought process, and the steps you took to overcome it. This approach not only showcases your ability to address the question directly but also adds depth and authenticity to your narrative.
So how do you make sure you answer the prompt question? Take the time to dissect the prompt. You can highlight the parts of the prompt that are important and answer the prompt in one sentence. This can serve as the foundation of your essay. Then, create a roadmap that outlines how you will address each part of the prompt. This will help you stay focused and ensure that your essay provides a comprehensive and relevant answer. You can also read your essay (or have someone else read it) to see if you have answered the question.
Mistake #3: Using flowery language
This mistake is my least favorite one, but not because of the applicants using flowery language! This mistake makes me mad at all the people online who tell students to make their story interesting or engaging and suggest they write their college application essay like a story or narrative.
There is some truth to that advice- you don’t want to write a boring essay! But admissions officers don’t need to know that you drove to your job interview bundled up in your black coat on a windy, frosty day that smelled like the first day of winter. This isn’t a Harry Potter book! This type of advice is what often leads to mistakes 1 and 2.
And here’s a secret: for many schools, admissions officers aren’t the first people to look at your application. I was an application reader for UC San Diego and I was hired seasonally. This meant that I was reading applications and essays after my full time job. I didn’t have the focus to interpret flowery language–I needed things to be straight up so that I could understand the response and get to know the student.
You can use flowery language if you want to. But don’t feel like you have to.
What to do instead:
To strike the right balance, use clear and concise language that effectively conveys your thoughts and emotions. Imagine you’re having a conversation with a friend – be yourself and let your natural voice shine through. For example, instead of describing an experience as “a cacophony of resplendent hues,” you might say it was an “eye opening and thought provoking experience”. This adjustment makes sure that your language enhances, not obscures, the essence of your essay.
I often recommend to my students that they do a “word vomit” first draft where they write everything down as it comes out of their mind. Then they can revise it to identify the parts of the story they want to tell. Finally, they write their next draft as if they were talking to a friend. The flowery language can get in the way of getting your story straight or talking about you, so leave it out entirely, or at least in your first few drafts.
A recap
Mistakes are a common part of writing college application essays, and that’s ok. Now that you know what some of the common “mistakes” are, you can make sure that your essay avoids these. That way you can write an essay that not only addresses the prompt effectively but also provides an authentic glimpse into who you are.
Happy writing, and good luck with your college applications!
